1. |
I'll Pick 'em Myself
03:45
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Stay away from the grocery, 'cause it's all a big scam
With all the UFO GMO TBHQs, I can't remember who I am
"Hey Shark, you're a white man"
That's right, you know I got a better plan
You can keep the peaches, you can keep the pears
Put 'em all back on shelf
I'll pick 'em myself
I don't care about your coupons, or if the apple's on sale
While you're stuck in line, wasting time
I'll be at the orchard just filling up my pail
"That sounds unobtainable"
No man, it's sustainable
You can keep the peaches, you can keep the pears
Put 'em all back on the shelf
I'll pick 'em myself
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2. |
Bad Dog
03:18
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3. |
Hard Hitter (Ronnie)
04:03
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Ronnie has a face that you won't forget
Thirty years of heavy drinking, not a day of regret
If you see him out driving, give the right of way
If you ever want to live to see another day
Ronnie is a decorated ex-marine
Used to think that he was fighting for the American dream
When Ronnie hit the desert, the terrorists ran
Because, even cave-dwellers know that Ronnie is the man
He's a hard hitter
He's a hard man
If you're not so great at toking, you just better bounce because
Ronnie rolls his blunts by the half an ounce
When Ronnie was arrested, the judge was afraid
Let him off without a warning, got out the way
He don't care if it's illegal
This ain't a protest song
He's exhausted every smoke detector
And his best friend is his.........
He's a hard hitter
He's a hard man
Ronnie never married, he could not commit
All the ladies could not stop themselves from jumping on it
Anna-Leigh was hoping that her feelings would pass
Until she learned that Ronnie was the king of hitting that ass
He'll never take you out dancing
He's got the temper of a bull
Before you ask him any questions (REMEMBER!)
There's no talking with your mouth full
He's a hard hitter
He's a hard man
He's a hard hitter
He's a hard man
He's a hard hard man
He's even harder than me
He's as hard as can be
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4. |
Purgatory
03:24
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5. |
Rich Man's Hill
05:24
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Late one afternoon, Shark and Dave had time to kill
They called a couple buddies and headed out to Rich Man’s Hill
The sun was shining brightly, the wind blew through the trees
But none of them had thought to say goodbye to their families
Shark flexed up his muscles and gave the disc a mighty hurl
But he must have been distracted by that pretty-tittied girl
He searched the woods intently for a disc he’d never find
When a half-face, bearded homeless man approached him from behind
There’s a man on the highway
Surrounded by fear
Speeding from the demons that are dancing in the mirror
There’s a man on the highway
He’s searchin’ for sin
The angel on his shoulder knows the devil is gonna win
While Shark was out exploring, the game continued on
Tammy tapped a pine tree while adjusting the back of her thong
The boys enjoyed the sight of Tammy as she walked away
When Donnie started drooling, Tammy turned around and winked at Dave
She searched the woods intently, then stopped to take a leak
But it wasn’t Donnie Dimyoit who crept up to take a peak
She screamed out to the heavens as she made her final spill
No one would see Tammy ever come down from the hill
There’s a man on the highway
Surrounded by fear
Speeding from the demons that are dancing in the mirror
There’s a man on the highway
He’s searchin’ for sin
The angel on his shoulder knows the devil is gonna win
The devil's gonna win
Night time on the hillside, everyone but Dave was gone
It suddenly occurred to him that maybe, something was wrong
He knew the silent stalker would be hungry for one more
The stranger that approached him was a man he had seen before
Dave shook off the hobo like a werewolf with a flea
When he tripped and fell like a lady, he found the Shark tied to a tree
The bearded man was gaining as the boys ran for their lives
When a rider on the highway ran the hobo over twice
There’s a man on the highway
Surrounded by fear
Speeding from the demons that are dancing in the mirror
There’s a man on the highway
He’s searchin’ for sin
The angel on his shoulder knows the devil is gonna win
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6. |
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7. |
Acoustic Assault
04:18
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I'm sick of the power running my life
So I'll switch off my amp, turn out the lights
Because I like singing in the...shade
Digital is dead, I've got it made
If you don't want to listen, it's your own damn fault
But you're gonna thank me when I give you the acoustic assault
I'm sick of my pickups and all the effects
It's time I simplify, and do what I do best
Like drinking and smoking weed
A bong and a guitar, that's all I need
If you don't want to listen, it's your own damn fault
But you're gonna thank me when I give you the acoustic assault
I try to evolve but I remain the same
Keep on playing, it's an old man's game
But I've got blisters inside my ears
When I'm done with you, you won't be able to hear
I love my electric, I won't deny
I'll play you a solo that will make you cry
If you still won't listen, it's your own damn fault
But you're gonna thank me when I give you the acoustic assault
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8. |
Carriage Ride
04:03
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9. |
The Rexy Boogie
08:20
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Pack your bags, we're getting out of here
Fire up the wagon, we're on tour for the rest of the year
We'll battle the winds, heavy rain, and snow
And anything attempting to prevent us from seeing the show
In Albany, our cash was gone
With only ten minutes left until the band went on
We snuck in through a side window
Swinging from the ceiling and jamming to the music below
We lit out onto the interstate
Like always, we were running late
We listened to a show from '93
We did the Rexy Boogie
Our car broke down so we started to run
Engine malfunction wouldn't stop us from having some fun
We hitched a ride with some pretty girls
Pointed our van toward the band that would conquer the world
A three-day run at an air force base
Security was tight so we disguised ourselves as the police
Fooling the guards was child's play
But when we got to Shakedown Street
Everyone ran away
After the show, I was out of my mind
I was trailing a car behind
I lost the van at exit 23
It's alright man, I'll see you 'round the bend
Until then
I'll do the Rexy Boogie
Rise and shine, it's time to go
If we leave now, we can see the show
If I don't move, I think I'm gonna snap
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The Dark Shave Asheville, North Carolina
Formed in 2008, The Dark Shave has been playing gigs around the Asheville area while gathering a rather unique fan-base. They've created a hit internet TV show aptly named "The Shave Show", won awards for their work in the 48 Hour Film Festival, and obliged the masses by creating a song of the week every month or two. ... more
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